The Kid Game

I pride myself on playing life’s “Chess Game” quite well. Always thinking many moves ahead, focusing on not losing pieces, positioning myself to overcome anything thrown at me.  I like to think I am improving.. however, I recently just became aware, of a different game at which I appear to be losing. The Kid Game.

Last week, I was overcome by a new feeling. It was very hard to shake. It was not subtle.

I toiled and toiled over what this feeling was about and why I was not able to pin point its origin. It was a good feeling. It was just something very different from the norm but at the same time, I also knew I had felt it before.

In my analytical mind, I resented not being able to identify its source. I am embarrassed at how much time I spent trying to wrap my hands around it.

Last week I decided I was going to play an InfoEd softball game. I had been asked for years to play. This time, I finally agreed.

I was giddy like a little kid. This was the feeling I was trying to identify.

I was excited to play. REALLY excited. I could not contain myself. I felt like that little kid who could not wait to get up to bat and take his swing. To get on the field and make a difference. I could not wait to play. I was curious how I would/could play knowing it’s been over 25 years.

My mood then flipped very quickly and I became wistful. Saddened that I had forgotten this core, basic sensation that kids get when they are excited in anticipation of something. I now realized was failing at the Kid Game of life.

It was realizing, identifying, what characterizes the expression “Being a kid at heart.”

This was not a new concept for me. I know it intellectually but I hadn’t felt it.. One of my favorites quotations about this is, “Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.” ― Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr

As I have grown older, I have lost sight of the “Kid Game.” I work more and play less. The kid-like excitement I used to feel with the expectation of Christmas morning is gone. I am very excited to be with my family. Very excited to see them “giddy as a kid.” I however had not taken the time to return to that state.

I know now that I need to keep this feeling alive somehow. This is indeed an important part of everyone’s  life not matter how old you are. This is a balance I suspect many may loose as we get older. I did.

I hope to discover different things that get me to that child-like “giddy spot.” I want to keep that  feeling alive. I can’t imagine how great it would be to experience it every day.

One of my new challenges is now to win “The Kid Game” every day. I would encourage others to follow suit if they are losing the game as badly as I am.


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